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Sick puppy!
Joined
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8,091 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.
Yo mama's afro is so big, when the bitch got in my car everyone thought I had tinted windows.
Yo mama is so dyslexic, when I told her to go get the Head and Shoulders, she jumped on my shoulders and gave me head.
Yo mama's ankles are so ashy, it looks like she's wearing socks.
Yo mama's breath is so stank, we don't know whether she needs gum or toilet paper.
Yo mama's breath is so stank, you can smell it over the phone.
Yo mama's breath is so stank, when she yawns her teeth duck.
Yo mama's breath is so stank, she eats odor eaters.
Yo mama's family is so ugly, people come to your house to see a freak show.
Yo mama's family is so ugly, her photo album has warning labels on it.
Yo mama's family is so ugly, when they sit down for dinner it looks like the bar room scene from Star Wars.
Yo mama's butt is so bony, she put her drawers on and cut them in two.
Yo mama's butt is so big, it looks like 2 pigs fighting over milk duds.
Yo mama's butt cheeks are so big, even Moses couldn't part them.
Yo mama's feet are so big and nasty, when she wants jam, she gets someone to run a loaf of bread between her toes.
Yo mama's feet so big, her sneakers need license plates.
Yo mama's ass is so big, its got more crack than Mayor Marion Barry.
Yo mama's ass is so big, she takes up 5 rows of seats in the theater.
Yo mama's ass is so big, she bent over and got arrested for selling crack.
Yo mama's forehead's so big, you could show slides on it.
Yo mama's mouth is so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Yo mama's gums are so black, she spits Chocolate Milk.
Yo mama's neck is so wrinkled, she can grate cheese on it.
Yo mama's gums are so black, she spits Yoo Hoo.
Yo mama's hair is so short, she don't get finger waves, she gets finger prints.
Yo mama's hair is unbeweavable.
Yo mama's hair is so nappy, it looks like an aerial view of the million man march. Look! There goes Farrakhan!
Yo mama's hair is so nappy, she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.
Yo mama's hair is so nappy, she uses a rake to comb it.
Yo mama's hair is nappier than a goats ass.
Yo mama's hair is so nappy, when she combs her hair her teeth bleed.
Yo mama's hair is so nappy, even Moses couldn't part it.
Yo mama's hair is so nappy, her comb had to get dentures.
Yo mama's head is so big, she has to go around the corner to change her mind.
Yo mama's hair has so much mousse in it, it could deflect bullets.
Yo mama's head is so big, she has to wash her hair at Niagara falls.
Yo mama's head is so big, it shows up on radar.
Yo mama's head is so big, when she tries to tie her shoes, the bitch flips over.
Yo mama's head is so big, she don't have dreams, she has movies.
Yo mama's head is so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.
Yo mama's head is so little, she could wear fruit loops as head rags.
Yo mama's head is so small, she got her ear pierced and died.
Yo mama's head is so small, she uses a tea bag for a pillow.
Yo mama's hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.
Yo mama's legs are like Jif, easy to spread.
Yo mama's a blind bird-watcher.
Yo mama's legs are so hairy if she had fur coat & a banana they'd stick her back in the zoo.
Yo mama's legs are so white, they'd disintegrate Dracula.
Yo mama's lips are so big, that ChapStick had to invent a spray.
Yo mama's lips are so big, she uses Mop & Glow for lipstick.
Yo mama's lips are so big, when you smile you wet your hair.
Yo mama's lips are so big, when she smiles she gets ChapStick on her ears.
Yo mama is so horny, she puts a dollar over her head and says "All you can eat, under a dollar!"
Yo mama is so horny, she maintains a personal relationship with the Energizer bunny.
Yo mama's tits are so small, she had to tattoo "front" on her chest.
 

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Sick puppy!
Joined
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8,091 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.
Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.
Yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass.
Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!
Yo mama's so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's in feet.
Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.
Yo mama's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.
Yo mama's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks across the living room, the radio skips.
Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower.
Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.
Yo mama's so fat, the horse on her Jordache jeans is real.
Yo mama's so fat, she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"
Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she says "Trick or meatloaf!"
Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time.
Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "I give up!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she opens the refrigerator, it says "Uncle!"
Yo mama's so fat, Fat Albert gave her the rights to say "Hey, hey, hey!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her a dinosaur.
Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to Burger King and asked for a Whopper, they gave her the sign.
Yo mama's so fat, when she works at the movie theater, she works as the screen.
Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.
Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"
Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck.
Yo mama's so fat, you can't even see her legs, it just looks like she's gliding across the floor.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.
Yo mama's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.
Yo mama's so fat, she was in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade... wearing ropes.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't wear a G-String, she wears an A, B, C, D, E, F, G-String.
Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses diet soap.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to sit down and the chair begged for mercy.
Yo mama's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.
Yo mama's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.
Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.
Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't have a doctor, she has a grounds keeper.
Yo mama's so fat, she doesn't have love handles, she has a roll bar.
Yo mama's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mama's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!
Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw a picture of her in a magazine on page 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.
Yo mama's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.
Yo mama's so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama's so fat, she's larger than life.
Yo mama's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.
Yo mama's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts mayonaise on aspirin.
Yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, she's once, twice, three times a lady.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
Yo mama's so fat, when she was walking in her jeans I swear I smelled something burning.
Yo mama's so fat, I gotta take three steps back just to see all of her.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass has it's own congressman.
Yo mama's so fat, she shops for clothes in the local tent shop.
Yo mama's so fat, her favorite blouse is a tent.
Yo mama's so fat, she deep-fries her toothpaste.
Yo mama's so fat, her favorite food is seconds.
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she sees the big top and asks "Where can I try that on?"
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to the circus she takes up all the rings.
Yo mama's so fat and old that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Yo mama's so fat, even God couldn't raise her spirits.
Yo mama's so fat that she has TB... two bellies.
Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo mama's so fat, the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama's so fat, when your father mounts her, his ears pop.
Yo mama's so fat, "Place Your Ad Here" is printed on each of her butt cheeks.
Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.
Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to keep pesos in one pocket and yen in the other.
Yo mama's so fat, when she wears heels, they're flats by the afternoon.
Yo mama's so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."
Yo mama's so fat, she wakes up in sections.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is rocky-road.
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama's so fat, her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, her yearbook picture is an aerial.
Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
Yo mama's so fat, they used her for a trampoline at the Olympics.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon.
Yo mama's so fat, when she put on some BVD's by the time they reached her waist they spelled "BouleVarD."
Yo mama's so fat, when she auditioned for a part in "Indiana Jones," she got the part as the big rolling ball.
Yo mama's so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu, and says "Okay."
Yo mama's so fat, when she brought her dress to the cleaners, they said "Sorry, we don't do curtains."
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mama's so fat, when I finished having sex with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
Yo mama's so fat, I had to roll over twice to get off of her.
Yo mama's so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!
Yo mama's so fat, she's got Amtrak tattooed on her leg.
Yo mama's so fat, when the police showed her a picture of her feet, she couldn't identify them.
Yo mama's so fat, she freebases ham.
Yo mama's so fat, we got her in the drive-in free by dressing her as a Chevy.
Yo mama's so fat, she went on a light diet... As soon as it's light she starts eating.
 

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Sick puppy!
Joined
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8,091 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What ya'll eating? I'll try it!"
Yo mama's so fat, she went on a seafood diet... Whenever she saw food she ate it.
Yo mama's so fat, she could go a week without eating and still not lose weight.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't lose weight, only find it.
Yo mama's so fat, when she bends over we go into daylight savings time.
Yo mama's so fat, she's half Indian, half Irish, and half American.
Yo mama's so fat, she got it goin' on... and on and on and on.
Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the lightbulb.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to an office, they tell her to pull up a sofa.
Yo mama's so fat, if she wears fishnet stockings, they'd better be 50 pound test!
Yo mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes.
Yo mama's so fat, they have to run a relay race to get her belt through her belt loops.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo mama's so fat, her belt size is the equator.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears an asteroid belt.
Yo mama's so fat, she has her own area code.
Yo mama's so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fighting over a milk dud.
Yo mama's so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party.
Yo mama's so fat, when I was done I rolled over, over again, and I was still on top of the bitch.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama's so fat, if she weighed five more pounds, she could get group insurance!
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the Rose Parade they thought she was a float.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to Sizzler and got a group discount.
Yo mama's so fat, she made weight watchers go blind.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm, one for each timezone.
Yo mama's so fat n black, she jumped in the ocean and they thought she was an oil spill.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to wear a three piece bathing suit.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped in the ocean and the ocean jumped back and said "I'll wait my turn."
Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.
Yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "Damn."
Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.
Yo mama's so fat, your daddy had to roll her in flower and look for the wet spot.
Yo mama's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
Yo mama's so fat, I shot the bitch and Crisco came out.
Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.
Yo mama's so fat, I tried to fuck her doggy style but I was just ridin' piggy back.
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to "Get the fuck off."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Fuck it, they don't pay me enough!"
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it told her "Sorry, we don't do livestock."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a talking scale and it said "Please step out of the car."
Yo mama's so fat, she stepped on a scale and she saw her phone number.
Yo mama's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 she was on a scale.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets on the scale it says "To be continued."
Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."
Yo mama's so fat, when she weighed herself the scale gave her an equation.
Yo mama' so fat, she's moving the Earth out of its orbit.
Yo mama's so fat, Yo father didn't know whether to fuck her or take the burro ride down.
Yo mama's so fat, no one can talk behind her back.
Yo mama's so fat, I gain weight just by watching her eat.
Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code.
Yo mama's so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her as a new world.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama's so fat, her tailor takes her measurements in light years.
Yo mama's so fat, when she comes down the stairs she measures on the Richter scale.
Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she even orders "Thank You, Come Again."
Yo mama's so fat, she eats biscuits like tic tacs.
Yo mama's so fat, she don't eat Wheat Thins, she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama's so fat, when yo father fell in love with her he got lost.
Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.
Yo mama's so fat, when she gets out of the car, she leaves stretch marks.
Yo mama's so fat, she leaves stretch marks on the bathtub.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fills up the tub, she fills up the tub.
Yo mama's so fat, she gets clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!
Yo mama's so fat, she got hit by a truck and asked "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mama's so fat, she has to pull down her pants to get into her pockets.
Yo mama's so fat, she has more nooks and crannies than a Thomas' English Muffin.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats pumpkin pies like Skittles.
Yo mama's so fat, when the cashier at KFC asked what size bucket she wanted, she said the one on the roof.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to grease her hands to get into her pockets. Yo mama's so fat, she has two stomachs: One for meat, one for vegetables.
Yo mama's so fat, she masturbates reading cookbooks.
Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.
Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.
Yo mama's so fat, she needs a roadmap to find her ass.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell in the Grand Canyon and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumped for joy and got stuck.
Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big.
Yo mama's so fat, the earth orbits around her instead of the sun.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA orbits satellites around her.
Yo mama's so fat, NASA is going to use her to fill the hole in the ozone layer.
Yo mama's so fat, she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Seattle, NY.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit.
Yo mama's so fat, I saw her in New York, and when I told my friend in LA, he'd seen her too.
Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.
Yo mama's so fat, she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mama's so fat, she looks like the Stay-Puff marshmallow man on steroids.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on the corner and the police came & said "Break it up!"
Yo mama's so fat, she can't just work one corner, she has to work all four.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.
Yo mama's so fat, her car is made out of spandex.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change the radio station.
Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change gears.
Yo mama's so fat, she got a "speed pass" for Dairy Queen.
Yo mama's so fat, she shows up on radar.
Yo mama's so fat, she stood in front of the Hollywood sign and it just said H d.
Yo mama's so fat, she had to roll over 4 times just to get an even tan.
Yo mama's so fat, she tried to get an all-over tan, and the sun burned out.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses hula hoops to hold up her socks.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxi-pad.
Yo mama's so fat, she uses a pillow case as a sock.
Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.
Yo mama's so fat, her belly button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters.
Yo mama's so fat, she wears a VCR for a beeper.
Yo mama's so fat, she fell off a boat and the captain yelled "Land Ho!"
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rowing machine and it sank.
Yo mama's so fat, she went to a Chinese Restaurant and ordered a 40oz. of gravy.
Yo mama's so fat, she has 48 midnight snacks.
Yo mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
Yo mama's so fat, she can't tie her own shoes.
Yo mama's so fat, she eats cereal out of a satellite dish.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat in Big Foot and made it a lowrider.
Yo mama's so fat, when she got on the bus she turned it into a low rider.
Yo mama's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street everyone yells "Earthquake!"
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks down the street, you can hear her hips saying to each other "If you let me by, I'll let you pass."
Yo mama's so fat, when she walks in front of the T.V., you miss 5 minutes of your show.
Yo mama's so fat, the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.
Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she lost at Jenny Craig was $29.95.
Yo mama's so fat, Jenny Craig did a credit check.
Yo mama's so fat, when she volunteered to clean cages at the zoo, people walked by and said "Look at the elephant!"
Yo mama's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a "Caution! Wide Turn" sign.
Yo mama's so fat, she sat on an Oreo and unlocked the magic.
Yo mama's so fat, they had to baptize her at Sea World.
Yo mama's so fat, last time she went to Sea World Shamu got a hard on.
Yo mama's so fat, she jumed in da ocean and the whales started singing "We are family!"
Yo mama's so fat, when I have sex with her I have to slap her ass and ride the wave in.
Yo mama's so fat, they changed my Physics book to say "What goes up must come down, except Yo mama."
 

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Senior Member
Joined
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989 Posts
Yo mama's so fat, she ain't on a diet, she's on a triet... She be like "What ya'll eating? I'll try it!"

LMFAO and ROTF cant get enuff of this one.
 
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