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Cows - Man's best friend

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:

You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell the herd and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-design them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk. You then create irritating cow
cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them world-wide at a
fantastic profit.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
and
milk
themselves.

ENGLISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.

A HINDU CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You worship them.

CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the
newsman
who reported the numbers.

A WELSH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
The younger one is rather attractive

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

Western suburbs style....
You have 2 stolen bulls but think they are cows
You die the first time you try and milk them.

AN IRISH CORPORATION

Who cares, The EU Really owns them now and the pub is still serving

ANOTHER WELSH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You don't know what they are used for as they aren't sheep You shag
them anyway.
 

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gary, ...True story comin here....ask jib he will vouch fer this Honest!!!!


In 2000 I bught my wife a MGF for our wedding anniversary, she loves the car & keeps it fer 2 years , then decides to buy a "Bigger" car .....so we go out & buy a PUG 307 Xsi turbo.....she picks it up from the dealers on a Thursday mornin.....Stunnin Motor ......the following Monday Off she goes shopping to ASDA (Note:- to get to ASDA from my house you have to go via some country lanes/Farms Ect )

Does her shopping & is on the way back when she is stopped by a Farmer who tells her he is bringing the cows in from the field for milking & can she wait a few moments as they cross the road ......." Oh OK" says the wife


The farmer opens the gate & out come 24 Cows......22 walk past the driving side 1 walks past the passenger side & ONE COLLAPSES ON THE FOOKIN BONNETT!!!!!!

Result ....5 day old car WRITTEN OFF!! (the cow weighs in at approx 2.5 TONS)

Farmer is insured by the NFU (National Farmers Union) who REFUSE to pay out coz ......"There was the correct ratio of drovers to animals"


I take Farmer & his fuckin Union to court ..... Result ...after nearly 2 years of fuckin about they settle & buy the wife her present (NEW ZED)



COW is not word we use in our house !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

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Typhooner :)
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6,592 Posts
OMG!!!! that confirms my theory all along - cows are evil and will eventually inherit the world from us!!!
 

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CheeseKitten
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16,588 Posts
PMSL @ Gary...

and Keith speaks the truth!

oh and this?

towersl said:
OMG!!!! that confirms my theory all along - cows are evil and will eventually inherit the world from us!!!
I love this girl!! She f*ckin' hilarious!!!! :up: :up: :up:
 

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Senior Member
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1,431 Posts
gary160 said:
A WELSH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
The younger one is rather attractive

ANOTHER WELSH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You don't know what they are used for as they aren't sheep You shag
them anyway.

:x: :x: :x:


(LOL)
 
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