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Sick puppy!
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8,091 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
>Are You Ready To Have Children?
>How to Know Whether or Not Your Are Ready To Have Children

>MESS TEST
>
>Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish behind the couch
>and leave it there all summer.
>
>TOY TEST
>
>Obtain a 10 kg box of Legos (or you may substitute with roofing nails). Have
>a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk
>to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child
>at night!
>
>GROCERY STORE TEST
>
>Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as
>you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or
>damage.
>
>DRESSING TEST
>
>Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making
>sure that all the arms stay inside.
>
>FEEDING TEST
>
>Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the
>ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of
>soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane.
>Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.
>
>NIGHT TEST
>
>Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 5 kg of sand.
>Soak it thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the
>bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get
>up, pick up your bag, and recite every Ayah and Du'a you know. Recite them
>a dozen more times until 4:00 a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make
>breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful!
>
>INGENUITY TEST
>
>Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into
>an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive
>candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk
>carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact
>replica of the Eiffel Tower.
>
>AUTOMOBILE TEST
>
>Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and
>put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a coin. Stick it into
>the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies.
>Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the
>car. There, perfect!
>
>PHYSICAL TEST (Women)
>
>Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes.
>Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.
>
>PHYSICAL TEST (Men)
>
>Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the
>clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the
>head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the
>store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.
>
>FINAL ASSIGNMENT
>
>Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can
>improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child's
>table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that
>they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience.
>It will be the last time you will have all the answers.
>How to Know Whether or Not Your Are Ready To Have Children
 

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CheeseKitten
Joined
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16,588 Posts
LMAO!!

Never having sex again just in case!!
 

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Senior Member
Joined
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1,431 Posts
Jib 21 said:
LMAO!!

Never having sex again just in case!!

*coughs* bollox *coughs*



PMSL very good Ash.......... im too young for all that kiddy stuff at the mo me finks!
 

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Typhooner :)
Joined
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6,592 Posts
kids smell !!!!
 
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